By the time Spring had sprung, the dust settled and my poor thumbs recovered from two months of texting Tom. I was back in the swing of things and was out on the town with some girlfriends ready for an uneventful Saturday night. We headed out to our local bar and were having a great time when I recognized someone from a previous night out. The first time I had seen this fellow was at a crowded bar during a very drunken Irish festival a few months earlier while I was already occupied with a ginger (sorry to report that although this ginger was crazy, his story is not worthy of its own post) that later became that evening’s conquest. This time, I decided to approach the familiar face and we began the “getting to know you” dance. From what I learned about “Sam” that first night, he seemed like a nice (and surprisingly normal) 27 year old guy so when he asked for my number, I gave it to him. After a goodnight kiss, I went on my merry way hoping to hear from Sam sometime soon.
I should probably preface every story I share by saying that I am famous for ignoring red flags when it comes to attractive guys. Red flag number one for Sam was the fact that he texted me 10 minutes after I left the bar, typing sweet nothings into my Blackberry’s ear. Red flag number two came the next morning when he texted me asking to get together that evening, to which I declined, mostly because “hungover” is not a look that suits me very well.
The following night I was looking like myself again and decided to accept the second invitation to hang out with Sam. I assumed we would do dinner or see a movie like normal people. Instead, Sam invited me to his house and when I arrived, he informed me I would be meeting his mother. This incident should have been the biggest red flag in the history of red flags but keeping with the theme here, I ignored it, slapped on some lip gloss, and met Sam’s mother who happened to be a very nice woman. Hanging out in Sam’s room that night made me feel like a teenager again, and not necessarily in a good way. The fact that we were confined to his room, watching garbage reality TV made me wonder if there was something Sam wasn’t telling me. Fast forward to our second date when Sam invited me out for drinks on a Wednesday night but asked me to pick him up. Hoping that he wasn’t just a raging alcoholic that never leaves the house without a designated driver, I agreed. After a few drinks and a few rounds of beer pong, (eternal teenager perhaps?) Sam became loose lips and told me about his multiple DUIs and handful of assault charges which have left him without a license for the next few years. Needless to say, I was thankful for the full-time job I had to wake up for the next morning because it became my excuse to promptly leave the bar, with Sam in it. Of course he called about a dozen times and left messages to apologize but I ignored every call and I never once called him back.
That was the last time I saw Sam and it wasn’t because I have anything against criminals. I just have something against clingy criminals that make me meet their moms because they can’t operate vehicles or leave the country without alerting their parole officers.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
It's Raining Sailors
I think that many single women will agree with me when I say that once a year we are given a special gift to reward us for being the fabulous single women we are. This gift, which is 1,000 times better than any Christmas or Birthday gift your Great Aunt Millie will knit for you, is better known as Fleet Week. For one week in May, the streets of New York City become flooded with servicemen (and women) from the US Navy and Marine Corps. It is a tradition that began in 1984, one year before I entered this world and perhaps created just for me, as a way for NYC to honor our servicemen and women. Traditionally speaking, the week features extensive military demonstrations, as well as the opportunity for the public to tour some of the visiting ships. Untraditionally speaking, the week features men in uniform who are literally jumping ship and landing in NYC bars where single women should be waiting to meet and greet these handsome seamen.
This past Fleet Week, some friends and I decided to rent a hotel room near Times Square to enjoy the festivities to the fullest. That Friday night, we got all dolled up and hit the streets trolling for men in uniform. Lucky for the four of us, there was no shortage of America’s toughest and bravest men trolling those same streets. We entered the first bar we came across and instantly found ourselves in the middle of uniform-central and became giddier than school girls when we were immediately approached by a group of sailors. Even better, these weren’t just any sailors, these were US Navy Captains, the kind that were saluted by petty officers as we marched down the street with them. After many drinks and an unavoidable act of service to my country, I learned a few things that I’d like to share with all future Fleet Week visitors.
Rule #1 - do not be fooled by Sex and the City's take on Fleet Week. There is no such thing as a Navy party and the uniformed hotties are scattered throughout the city, not congregated in one designated bar or club. Think of it as a scavenger hunt with an unparalleled prize at the end. Side note - I must agree with Samantha Jones who called Fleet Week her favorite holiday!
Rule #2 – dress as girly as possible. These men are cooped up on ships that are wall-to-wall with men and by the time their ships dock, they are eager to visit bars that are wall-to-wall with single women.
Rule #3 – refrain from all topics of a serious nature and be as carefree and fun-loving as possible. Remember these men are looking for one thing, FUN.
Rule #4 – be picky. Don’t settle for the first group that you land upon. There will be 1,000’s of hot uniformed men to choose from during Fleet Week.
Most importantly is Rule #5 – depending on the level of fun you’re looking for, book your hotel room in advance. I think NYC is looking to cash-in on acts of service to our country and jack up the prices of hotel rooms during Fleet Week.
This past Fleet Week, some friends and I decided to rent a hotel room near Times Square to enjoy the festivities to the fullest. That Friday night, we got all dolled up and hit the streets trolling for men in uniform. Lucky for the four of us, there was no shortage of America’s toughest and bravest men trolling those same streets. We entered the first bar we came across and instantly found ourselves in the middle of uniform-central and became giddier than school girls when we were immediately approached by a group of sailors. Even better, these weren’t just any sailors, these were US Navy Captains, the kind that were saluted by petty officers as we marched down the street with them. After many drinks and an unavoidable act of service to my country, I learned a few things that I’d like to share with all future Fleet Week visitors.
Rule #1 - do not be fooled by Sex and the City's take on Fleet Week. There is no such thing as a Navy party and the uniformed hotties are scattered throughout the city, not congregated in one designated bar or club. Think of it as a scavenger hunt with an unparalleled prize at the end. Side note - I must agree with Samantha Jones who called Fleet Week her favorite holiday!
Rule #2 – dress as girly as possible. These men are cooped up on ships that are wall-to-wall with men and by the time their ships dock, they are eager to visit bars that are wall-to-wall with single women.
Rule #3 – refrain from all topics of a serious nature and be as carefree and fun-loving as possible. Remember these men are looking for one thing, FUN.
Rule #4 – be picky. Don’t settle for the first group that you land upon. There will be 1,000’s of hot uniformed men to choose from during Fleet Week.
Most importantly is Rule #5 – depending on the level of fun you’re looking for, book your hotel room in advance. I think NYC is looking to cash-in on acts of service to our country and jack up the prices of hotel rooms during Fleet Week.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Kelsey meets "Texting Tom"
Technology is supposed to enhance people’s lives, right? Well it's hard to believe sometimes that in today's modern world, there are instances of technology actually destroying the lives of people in their mid-twenties. Call me old fashioned but I believe that every once in a while, a person should use their mobile devices to actually place a call and speak to the person on the other end. I've encountered a lot of people on the dating scene that seem to think text-only relationships are an acceptable form of communication. I will share with you one such example of this exact case and then I ask you reader, what do you think?
This past winter I met a guy named "Tom", one of the groomsmen that I served with in my friend’s bridal party. I had met Tom a few times while my friend was dating his friend but I didn't have the opportunity to really get to know him until the rehearsal dinner. After some drinks and a lot of flirting, I decided that landing Tom would be my mission at the wedding. The wedding was beautiful and everyone had a fabulous time, including myself, with Tom by my side. I don't remember much else from this wedding (apparently the only way to woo Tom was to impress him with my binge drinking) except that I woke up the next morning with a new contact in my phone, and it was Tom! When I heard from him (via text) later that same morning and later that day with a facebook friend request, I was really excited and quite proud of myself for landing the most attractive guy at the reception. We ended up texting all weekend and made plans (via text) to meet for drinks later that week. The texting continued and again, I was really excited about all the possibilities on the horizon. Our date for drinks was a lot of fun and I couldn't wait to hear from Tom again. When I heard from him a few days later, via text, I began to wonder if I would ever hear his voice again. It was at this same time that I started to notice the never ending amount of facebook posts and activity that Tom did in a single day. As much as I liked him at this point, I was nervous that I had fallen for a partial shut-in. For the two months that followed, Tom and I continued to text on a daily basis, yet see each other face-to-face only two more times and we never once spoke on the phone. Finally, and not a moment too soon, it ended for us and I'm still not sure if it was due to a fear of carpal tunnel or lack of unlimited texting in Tom's cell phone plan.
When I look back at this faux-relationship that I got sucked into, I have to laugh. What kind of grown man (and grown woman because I must take some responsibility for this one) thinks this is acceptable behavior? If you ask me, the world has become way too obsessed with passive-aggressive forms of communication. Is there even a point to having a phone with the capability of making phone calls anymore? I guess the real question here is when did we all get so lazy? Especially men, you have all become the epitome of lazy! I’d like to go back to the olden days and land myself a caveman. Now those guys knew how to treat a lady. Nowadays, it’s hard enough to get a guy to ask you to dinner, let alone go out and chase it, kill it, skin it and cook it.
This past winter I met a guy named "Tom", one of the groomsmen that I served with in my friend’s bridal party. I had met Tom a few times while my friend was dating his friend but I didn't have the opportunity to really get to know him until the rehearsal dinner. After some drinks and a lot of flirting, I decided that landing Tom would be my mission at the wedding. The wedding was beautiful and everyone had a fabulous time, including myself, with Tom by my side. I don't remember much else from this wedding (apparently the only way to woo Tom was to impress him with my binge drinking) except that I woke up the next morning with a new contact in my phone, and it was Tom! When I heard from him (via text) later that same morning and later that day with a facebook friend request, I was really excited and quite proud of myself for landing the most attractive guy at the reception. We ended up texting all weekend and made plans (via text) to meet for drinks later that week. The texting continued and again, I was really excited about all the possibilities on the horizon. Our date for drinks was a lot of fun and I couldn't wait to hear from Tom again. When I heard from him a few days later, via text, I began to wonder if I would ever hear his voice again. It was at this same time that I started to notice the never ending amount of facebook posts and activity that Tom did in a single day. As much as I liked him at this point, I was nervous that I had fallen for a partial shut-in. For the two months that followed, Tom and I continued to text on a daily basis, yet see each other face-to-face only two more times and we never once spoke on the phone. Finally, and not a moment too soon, it ended for us and I'm still not sure if it was due to a fear of carpal tunnel or lack of unlimited texting in Tom's cell phone plan.
When I look back at this faux-relationship that I got sucked into, I have to laugh. What kind of grown man (and grown woman because I must take some responsibility for this one) thinks this is acceptable behavior? If you ask me, the world has become way too obsessed with passive-aggressive forms of communication. Is there even a point to having a phone with the capability of making phone calls anymore? I guess the real question here is when did we all get so lazy? Especially men, you have all become the epitome of lazy! I’d like to go back to the olden days and land myself a caveman. Now those guys knew how to treat a lady. Nowadays, it’s hard enough to get a guy to ask you to dinner, let alone go out and chase it, kill it, skin it and cook it.
Who is Kelsey Dately?
Kelsey Dately is a single 25-year-old, living and dating in the beautiful state of New York. I started this blog with one purpose - to entertain the world with my dating stories. Although I hate to admit it, each and every story that I share with you is 100% true. Believe me, the dating world in your mid-twenties can be a very scary place and I fear that it is only getting scarier with each passing year of my life. Enough about me, I hope you'll read on as we start getting into the good stuff!
-Kelsey
-Kelsey
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